Life by Choice Anupama Garg

Monthly Archives: November 2012

You are browsing the site archives by month.

SEX and SPIRITUALITY

Matter without spirit is dead and spirit without matter is a ghost….both refer to the dead…

An evolved spiritual life has reverence for everything as a part of the whole creation. All that exists is a part of creation and has its complete relevance to our existence. The practical reality is that we are here because of sex (reproduction) and it is the basic aspect of creation in the animal kingdom. Humans have evolved from the animal kingdom too; however sex remains the most complex aspect for us humans.

Humans evolved from the animals owing to the development of the brain and the power to reason. As the human species developed our thinking progressed over the centuries and we also realized that sex is not merely for reproduction but also an act of pleasure. We developed the ways / instruments (contraceptives) improvising them over centuries to control the outcome of sex merely as a reproductive method. Prior to any developed methods of birth control of the industrial world it was just male withdrawal. Around 3000 B.C. the first condoms made from materials such as fish bladder, linen sheaths and animal intestines appeared.

The evolution of the human race was influenced by religions, society, culture and traditions. The fundamental view in various cultures and traditions that body and soul are separate has had serious consequences. The idea centric to this division emphasized, that for the soul to advance, the body has to restrain from sensual pleasures including sex.  This resulted is shame, for an act, which should be honored and sanctified.

Our body and soul remained intertwined till our last breath and our physical body dies as soon as the soul leaves it. Every fulfillment of the body can be taken into a realm where the experience fulfils and satisfies our soul. As humans we yearn for something inexplicably eternal that liberates us from the chain of time.

Sex at a basic level is an act of procreation for propagation of species. The male and female sex organs are representations of life and their union creates life.  An act of “creation” is the foundation of all that exists and therefore holds a place of worship. Ancient pagan cultures reinstate this fact and consider sex as a sacred spiritual act, as sex symbolizes love, fertility, beauty and pleasure and is not merely an act for continuation of species.

As we comprehend it as an act of procreation, it may merely be physical union that may or may not bestow physical pleasure to a couple. Whereas sex for pleasure can be casual sex too, but cannot be more meaningful than simple physical gratification. Approaching sex merely as a physical need deprives us from exploring and experiencing meaningful sex. If we learn to honor sex we will see it as creative and divine. Sex can be extremely intimate and liberating experience which when understood as sacrosanct helps us to unfold an unimaginable world of pleasure, joy and connectivity with our partner. The finer part of human sexuality remains undiscovered with a mechanistic approach.

Our human body is a wonder of nature and there is a whole world that lies within what seems obvious. Love and intimacy are a blessing and partners sharing that can take sex to a point where the experience transcends the physical aspect through practice and understanding. The incredible soul gratifying feeling, after a gratifying sexual experience can be experienced only in relationship that is deep and intense. Being acutely aware while having sex is analogous to being totally devoted. Spirituality can be achieved with repeatedly practicing sex with one partner, which has the ability to take us to a realm where while being in the body we feel beyond it. It can be taken to an experience where we can be entirely our self and yet beyond the limitation of the physical self. Higher the comfort with the partner, more elevating is the experience.

Many ancient cultures state that sex is deeply revealing about those aspects of a partner, which may not be understood otherwise. Sex helps us to unveil our self and our partner as our behavior in bed reflects our complexes, inhibitions and barriers. It is a space, which is free of judgment, and every creative act adds to our pleasure and joy. However our lack of attention to the nuances and going through sex without being mindful would leave the experience as incomplete and hollow.

We as humans are capable of taking it beyond the act of survival for our species and understand it as a ritual, which leads to ecstasy. At a human level we are a combination of the earth and heaven. When we let go and flow with the intention to become one with our mate, we can swing gracefully between our earthly desires and divinity.  If we were to surrender to our partners in devotion, we could respect each other’s divinity as well as the human aspect. Lovemaking can be treated as a sacred ritual involving both temporal and eternal aspects.

Sex can be spiritual if both partners desire for union through uninhibited self-expression and practice. Good sex between partners leads to a deeper bond as they experience each other without any barriers. Sex can be the strongest expression of the love shared between the partners. Offering our self to our partner requires us to be free from our ego. This would be the first step towards the opening of our souls on the path that leads to sex being spiritual.

Meditation and sexual expression challenge the ego at the core, as both require letting go of the self. Both require being present in the moment with no past or future and both require practice. If we can penetrate the peripheral sexual desires and go deep into the soul we will attain a union, which is sacred and divine. Any seeker on a spiritual path has to deal with his/her sexuality too.

 Sexuality can be a path to spirituality rather than it being comprehended as an obstacle to spiritual development. It is our attitude towards sex that matters.

Those who condemn sex and suppress it are haunted by it all their life and are bereft from the pleasure and fulfillment it can offer. Suppression is inhibiting oneself to live fully, which leads to discontentment. Sexual openness is one of the most important factors in building the peaceful, gender-respecting society.

In our present day society is it possible to be creative and free sexually alongside being moral too? The link between morality and sexuality remains a reason for inhibitions and suppression. Sex becomes a problem when associated with fear, guilt or shame. A refined morality is a result of one’s contemplation and cannot be pushed down.

Sex with all the taboo and suppression remains the biggest industry in the world. Meaningful sex has to be value based and values are personal. We try and suppress sex whereas the need is to honor it and sanctify it. If we understand sex as a soulful activity we will never abuse it but regard it as a ritual, which requires seriousness, devotion and respect.

Anupama Garg