Life by Choice Anupama Garg

Monthly Archives: February 2012

You are browsing the site archives by month.


Wednesday, 16 February 2011

Have  I sat and contemplated on issues that will help me to  understand my  self ? I am going to be honest and contemplate deeply before I arrive to the answers. In the process to understand the world it seems I completely forgot to understand my own self.Life has been a series of experiences and I have come this far to be what I am today.
1.       Was it worth it?
Am I proud of what I am today . I should be aware whether I accept myself the way I am, after all I have given my life till the present moment to evolve into my present self.
2.       Do I clearly know what I want in life and why I want it?
If I delve deep into this question it will help me to identify the deep seated desire behind my actions. I will know clearly that behind my efforts, successes and failures what was it that I have truly desired. It is important to know why I have done whatever I have done. What was the driving force behind my actions? What exactly have I been running after all these years? Which desire was it that propelled me to reach where I am today?
3.       Have I actually achieved what I wanted so deeply?
I have to think beyond the layers of conditioning to reach to the core of the answer. I had to give up a lot in order to get what I got. I had to pay a price for the choices I made in life. At times making a choice was rather tough, I had to give up a lot more than I had bargained for, but nevertheless I did choose what mattered more or so I thought at that time. Some realizations I have experienced come with time only. I gave up much to have what I have today.
4.       Do I feel fulfilled in the deeper sense?
I am running towards a future which I am creating through my actions knowingly or unknowingly. Are my actions creating the future I want to bring to my life?
Now that I have answered all the questions I know where I stand in life. What has gone by may never come back but I still have a choice to make the most of what I have.I now know where I have to go from where I am.

Control Anger before it controls you.

Control Anger before it controls you

“How much more grievous are the consequences of anger than the causes of it”. Marcus Aurelius
Anger is a normal human emotion. The problem lies when it gets out of control and turns destructive for ourselves and others.Fire consumes our body when we die but uncontrolled anger consumes our entire being while we are living.We all have at some point experienced the consequences of anger.The consequences are more often worse than the reason which caused the anger.Anger is a secondary emotion arising from frustation,fear or hurt.It is important how we handle it.We also need to clearly understand the cause of anger to identify the core emotion.
We should control anger before it controls us and all we are left with is regret. Anger has never been a solution to any problem. It may however further worsen the situation. It is an established fact that most murders are not premeditated acts but crimes committed in moments of frenzy. Suppressing anger and nursing grudges is as bad as uncontrolled expression of anger. Both ways are equally damaging. Suppression is sometime bound to ignite like dry wood. It does equal damage to our physical and mental health. It becomes a matter of concern the day we feel we are helpless when anger strikes us. Uncontrolled anger can create problems for us at work, in our personal relationships and reduces the overall quality of life. Anger is accompanied by physiological and biological changes within our body. When we get angry our heart rate and blood pressure go up. There is an increase in levels of hormones like adrenaline and generating energy strong enough for vigorous action.A frequent or continued state takes it toll on our health. Anger is strongly linked to health problems like high blood pressure, heart problems, arthritis, depression to name a few.It is not difficult to combat this problem the day we decide to work on it.Some simple and practical steps can be tried.
1. Communication:       Putting our point across firmly but without losing our cool is an effective way to show our displeasure. Screaming, using foul language is a display of your inability to handle your own self. Whenever you are angry think——-. What are you going to gain by it? How is the other person going to lose by it? Our physical anger brings dishonor to ourselves and our mental anger disturbs our thinking. To communicate choose a time when the anger churning up has passed away so that you can think and behave rationally. Choose your words carefully and listen carefully to what the other person has to say.
2. Cognitive restructuring:     It simply means to change the way we think. Most of the times even a justified anger in no time, can get out of bounds. Our thinking tends to become exaggerated and a small issue may seem too big. It is important to be realistic without over dramatizing a situation. It may be a sticky situation but it is not the end of the world. Direct your thinking to find a solution rather than wasteful thinking of the problem. Sometimes the solution may only lie in facing and handling the situation. Face it and keep telling yourself that anger will not make things better.
3. Meditation: Regular meditation helps to ease our anger and over a period of time we may actually do away with anger. Inculcate meditation as an everyday part of your lifestyle and see the amazing change in your attitude.
4. Change in environment: Immediate solution to rising anger can be immediately removing yourself from the cause .Then shift your focus to something entirely different, or engage yourself in a physical activity like a brisk walk, take deep breaths counting backwards from 100 to 0 etc.
Learn to be assertive not aggressive. Your external response as well as your internal physiological changes accompanied with anger need to be calmed. There will always be provocations but the wise know that anger is no solution. Anger can be directed to a constructive task. MADD (mothers against drunk driving) was formed by a mother who lost a teenage son to drunk driving. She directed her anger and grief to make the society aware of the hazards of driving after drinking. Direction of anger to a constructive cause helps to unleash the anger without suppression or destruction.

Work Life Balance

Thursday, 4 August 2011

                                      WORK LIFE BALANCE
Alarm…Rise… Rush…coffee and a quick bite…Battling with a traffic jam…work like a machine. maybe just sitting on the desk the whole day, clicking the mouse…battle with the traffic jam…more chores…conclude the night flicking the television .maybe watching something which may not even interest  …exhausted and sleep. Does it sound familiar? IS THIS WHAT YOU CALL LIVING?
1. Accomplishment at work gives you material wealth and recognition.
2. Neglect of self can lead to lifestyle diseases.
3. Productivity and creativity are possible if one is physically and mentally healthy.
4. Emotional nourishment comes from meaningful personal relationships. We all need     love and appreciation regardless of degrees or nationalities. If you do not invest time and attention to relationships, you will have none when you need them.
5. If we cannot take responsibility of our lives no one will. Find ways not excuses, it  is your LIFE.
1. Do you take care of your health….Exercise, eat healthy and sleep well.
2. How is your family front?
3. Have you cultivated friends who can stand with you at the time you require support?
4. Have you ever sat and thought that what is it that you want in life?
5. Is your life what you want it to be?
6. Are you happy with the present state of affairs?
7. If not…………………….
    what is it that you should start doing?
    what is it that you should stop doing?
    what are the things which I need to reduce?
    what are things that I need to do more frequently?
8. Are you really serious to strike a balance?
9. Are you ready to bring about the changes however big to strike a balance in your life?
  Body and mind are interdependent. Invest in yourself. Take out time for yourself, pursue   your personal interest,seek some solitude each day.This is a non negotiable Rule.
  Be aware of your goals and clear in your priorities. Keep a journal if it helps and keep   updating it regularly
   You cannot do everything. Practice delegation at work and at home. Let others contribute.
5. TIME NEVER COMES BACK… not waste it.
  Move away from people and activities that add no value to your life. Recognize distractions, passive activities like watching television aimlessly or spending excess time on the net and eliminate them for activities that contribute to the quality of your life.
    Schedule activities that you enjoy doing with family and friends.
    Thoughts…Attitude..Choices..Actions..Life. Meditate.
Work life balance for each person is different and also varies at different stages and age in life. An individual starting his career will have a different set of priorities than a person who has retired. A married person with children will have to make different choices for the right balance than a person who is single .Our priorities play a dominant role in striking our work life balance .The demands of your work have to be met along with a healthy self, a fulfilling family life and friends.
For a balanced approach success and achievement has to be viewed in respect to self, work, family and society .Your physical and mental health, your development and your personal relationships jeopardised when the balance is not right. It is important to be clearly aware of what you are losing and whether the gains are worth all that loss.
Anupama Garg

The power of positive thoughts.



Whatever the mind of a man can conceive and believe, the mind can achieve.
–  Napoleon Hill
The events about to happen have already taken place in the minds of those who would bring them about. It is most essential to understand the power of mind for our thoughts have the power to make us or break us. Our thoughts either give us the resolve to take action or weaken our drive. We create our own misery or happiness depending on our thought process. Research has shown that thoughts are electromagnetic,biochemical signals that carry messages across our brain cells. Every time a thought goes along a particular route, its reception becomes easier as the path is more and more defined.The more we entertain a thought the fact that the thought will materialize becomes more prominent. By thought we throw energy. The way clay is molded by physical hands to produce a pot similarly our thought forms when held long enough with volition(will) result in taking shape as per our visualization. We can improve the quality of our lives and cultivate it as per our will through our thoughts. Thought is a force by which we can neutralize,or let stand or enhance the probability of future events.
It is important to begin thinking positively if we want positive synchronicities to occur. Cosmos is the living feedback machine which shows us, through positive and negative synchronicities how so called accidental events in life are often a consequence of our own mental and emotional process. It is important to think positively and consistently never ceasing our efforts to fill our minds with constructive thoughts. Constructive vision and determination can change almost anything in our life.
We are the architects of our  own lives and direct our lives. Every thought with enough intensity is fueled by force. If we are not cautious of our thought process our thoughts will create a life which may not essentially be our choice. We should have absolute clarity in how and what we want in life and so will it be.
There is a link between our thoughts, emotions and actions. By changing the focus of our thoughts we can instantly change how we feel thereby effecting our actions. Entertaining positive thoughts take us to resourceful states and entertaining negative thoughts suck us into a vortex of gloom. In an ironic way we attract exactly what we fear most. We create our own hell by negative thinking. We can create heaven by being conscious and aware of our thoughts and not letting negative thoughts strip is of our power Negative thinking destroys our ability to act in the right spirit.
An individual who entertains negative thoughts will have a persona which will emit vibrations which will generate a sense of gloom and create an atmosphere laden with heaviness around himself. On the contrary an individual with positive disposition will emanate positivity and create an atmosphere of lightness and vibrancy around himself.  The law is that we attract what we give. The choice is ours to make.
Experience the power of positive thoughts in your life and allow space for miracles to happen.
Anupama Garg