Life by Choice Anupama Garg

Monthly Archives: April 2012

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Healthy relationships in all areas of our life are essential to our well being. Though we may have different views on what healthy relationships are, certain ingredients remain common.

Anything to grow requires space. A beautiful relationship demands togetherness with space to evolve individually. It is important that we as individuals retain and nurture our individuality. It will help us give space in relationships, as we would understand its significance. It is essential to keep our interests alive and have a personal space that helps us to evolve as better human beings. The courage to trust comes naturally, if we respect our self and have a healthy self esteem. The balance has to be struck between independence and intimacy.

Friendship remains the basis of any relationship, be it life partners, parent child, siblings and of course our close friends.

Respect in any relationship remains the backbone on which the relationship rests. It is important to respect the individual with his individual world which may have his/her set of work commitments, friends, hobbies and principles which we may not necessarily agree with. A good relationship means that we agree to disagree. When we respect the other in most cases we also set the standard of how we will be treated.

  Many a times while trying to discipline our children we cross the line of respect. As parents our concern about them may result in failure to realize that most of our time is spent in correcting them. This may lead to scarce happy moments of togetherness. A child is more likely to understand us if he/she sees a friend in us. Raising a child is balance of unconditional love and support with guidance, giving direction and correction. We can approach our children with gentle explaining and understanding. It is fine to give them space to make them feel responsible. It is also natural for them to make mistakes. If we go back to our childhood, we too made mistakes and we still do, as adults. Its good to be protective but any excesses lead to degeneration of the relationship. It is always more effective to practice what we tell and expect out of our children. Our actions speak louder than our words in any relationship.

Successful relationship with our spouse, siblings and friends, requires the same ingredients of respect, trust, care and space. The need to mould someone according to our parameters is disastrous to any relationship. The urge to control comes with one single phenomenon, which is insecurity. An insecure person will cling, be over possessive, will want to control and mould a person according to his/her needs. The core lies in trusting our own self to be able to trust someone else. Self expansion leads to long-lasting relationships. The golden rule remains “Do unto others what you want other to do unto you”.

It is unfair to burden a loved one to fulfill all our needs, it ends in sheer disappointment .It is important to cultivate our individual space with a sense of purpose, friends and activities that contribute to our experiences and in turn enrich our relationships. It is important to strive to be a complete individual contributing constructively in our relationships. It is human nature that any relationship that gives us the feeling of being imprisoned cannot be healthy and fulfilling. Being alone does not mean being lonely. Physical and emotional space helps the relationship grow stronger as it gives room to grow.

All harmonious relationships are built upon by caring, dependability, responsibility, trust, empathy, acceptance, time for the relationship and time for self. It always works well to see things from the others point of view. We all change with time and experiences and we should respect and value these changes in others too.

It is reassuring to believe that relationships last for ever. But the truth is that there are relationships that will endure and there are relationships which will not. Every person close to us today may not be there in our life to come. Deceit and dishonesty can end a great relationship. When situations arise, our relationships can also change, and that can lead us to examine where we are investing our time and energy. If consciously the decision leads to let go…LET GO and move on

Solve your problem through the power of Prayers

“Prayer does not change God, but it changes him who prays“.  ~Søren Kierkegaard

Don’t pray when it rains if you don’t pray when the sun shines”.  ~Satchel Paige, 1974

What things so ever ye desire, when ye pray, believe that ye receive them, and ye shall have them”.Mark xi.24)

Prayer is an answer to people who have faith in its power. When the situation seems hopeless, try the power of prayers. It is a device that is extremely potent and effective. All our logical solutions may fail to give us an answer but prayer never fails. Successful people in all fields are realizing that praying helps them to feel and perform better. It enhances our efficiency. The best of ability combined with prayers makes the process and outcome extremely satisfying. It is not old fashioned to pray. Prayer can be used to overcome any hurdles. If we work hard, think positively, are fair in our dealings and pray properly we almost always get the desired result. We have to realize that while praying we are dealing with great power. Any technique which enables you direct the flow of this power within you can be applied. One of the effective ways which can be applied is going to be discussed.


1. Communicating with God (whatever your concept of God is): start to take out time everyday and start the process of communication. Take God as a form (which ever form you are comfortable with) which is with you all the time. Everyday take time  out to spend with your deity alone . Talk daily about the day. Tell God about your problem and seek grace. Ask God to guide you through the problem, with the faith that God will show you the path. Remember at all times, that when God is with you, you have nothing to fear. Also make a regular practice to communicate. Do not make the process just a problem solving technique. It will not work.


2. Visualize with faith and intensity: Once you have communicated the problem to God start doing your bit. There maybe delays in God’s regime but there are no denials. Now start visualizing the desired outcome. Let us assume that, you  are going through a rough patch financially. Your business is not doing too well. Start visualizing with intensity the way you would want your business to be. Visualize a lot of orders coming, an office full of employees reporting to you. Picture in your mind a flourishing office with clients walking in and out. A successful person assumes that he is successful. By doing this you are applying the mechanism of vibrations to send the message of your intentions to the universal energy. These vibrations bring back into your life what you want. Vibrations end at the point of source.


3. Thanking God for actualizing: Start to thank God for granting what you want in life even before you have it. Thank god for all the abundance, happiness and the desired result of your problem in advance. When you acknowledge the presence of what you desire and thank God for his grace it helps you to also negate the origin of any negative thought process.

The entire process has to be followed with positive attitude and faith. Never give up on your communication and faith in God. Also if ever you do not obtain what you desire, know that God has better plans for you. You will be surprised at the miracle to get a much better deal. God helps those who help themselves so never leave any stone unturned in your actions. Actions and prayers have to go hand in hand. This technique can be applied to persons who do not believe in God by reposing the faith in their own self. They should know that no circumstances are bigger than ones self. Life is much easier for believers especially when the going gets tough.