Life by Choice Anupama Garg

RELATIONSHIPS

Healthy relationships in all areas of our life are essential to our well being. Though we may have different views on what healthy relationships are, certain ingredients remain common.

Anything to grow requires space. A beautiful relationship demands togetherness with space to evolve individually. It is important that we as individuals retain and nurture our individuality. It will help us give space in relationships, as we would understand its significance. It is essential to keep our interests alive and have a personal space that helps us to evolve as better human beings. The courage to trust comes naturally, if we respect our self and have a healthy self esteem. The balance has to be struck between independence and intimacy.

Friendship remains the basis of any relationship, be it life partners, parent child, siblings and of course our close friends.

Respect in any relationship remains the backbone on which the relationship rests. It is important to respect the individual with his individual world which may have his/her set of work commitments, friends, hobbies and principles which we may not necessarily agree with. A good relationship means that we agree to disagree. When we respect the other in most cases we also set the standard of how we will be treated.

  Many a times while trying to discipline our children we cross the line of respect. As parents our concern about them may result in failure to realize that most of our time is spent in correcting them. This may lead to scarce happy moments of togetherness. A child is more likely to understand us if he/she sees a friend in us. Raising a child is balance of unconditional love and support with guidance, giving direction and correction. We can approach our children with gentle explaining and understanding. It is fine to give them space to make them feel responsible. It is also natural for them to make mistakes. If we go back to our childhood, we too made mistakes and we still do, as adults. Its good to be protective but any excesses lead to degeneration of the relationship. It is always more effective to practice what we tell and expect out of our children. Our actions speak louder than our words in any relationship.

Successful relationship with our spouse, siblings and friends, requires the same ingredients of respect, trust, care and space. The need to mould someone according to our parameters is disastrous to any relationship. The urge to control comes with one single phenomenon, which is insecurity. An insecure person will cling, be over possessive, will want to control and mould a person according to his/her needs. The core lies in trusting our own self to be able to trust someone else. Self expansion leads to long-lasting relationships. The golden rule remains “Do unto others what you want other to do unto you”.

It is unfair to burden a loved one to fulfill all our needs, it ends in sheer disappointment .It is important to cultivate our individual space with a sense of purpose, friends and activities that contribute to our experiences and in turn enrich our relationships. It is important to strive to be a complete individual contributing constructively in our relationships. It is human nature that any relationship that gives us the feeling of being imprisoned cannot be healthy and fulfilling. Being alone does not mean being lonely. Physical and emotional space helps the relationship grow stronger as it gives room to grow.

All harmonious relationships are built upon by caring, dependability, responsibility, trust, empathy, acceptance, time for the relationship and time for self. It always works well to see things from the others point of view. We all change with time and experiences and we should respect and value these changes in others too.

It is reassuring to believe that relationships last for ever. But the truth is that there are relationships that will endure and there are relationships which will not. Every person close to us today may not be there in our life to come. Deceit and dishonesty can end a great relationship. When situations arise, our relationships can also change, and that can lead us to examine where we are investing our time and energy. If consciously the decision leads to let go…LET GO and move on

One Thought on “RELATIONSHIPS

  1. latika on April 10, 2012 at 8:07 am said:

    Beautiful description of the word “RELATIONSHIPS”

    Rare u find a true relationship.Generally all live in a myth of having relationships that they can count upon but as u said when situations arise it can lead us to
    examine where we are investing our time and energy.

    Can we actually build a relationship in ones lifetime or relationships are made in heaven? Is it that we just have to recognize and live them?

    one query……………When we respect the other in most cases we also set standards of how we will be treated.

    does it mean expectation?

    Having even a single such relationship in ones life would mean one has actually lived a complete life. I really hope to be among those fortunate lot.

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